The Death Mug

My girlfriend must secretly hate me, for she is trying to make me miserable and maybe even kill me in an extremely sneaky, underhanded way.
The Death Mug. How did she find it? Where did it come from? Who disguised such devastation in the form of a cute handled cup with a painted lion on it? Had I not been so keen or had she been more keen I would have used the cup and the misery would have began. However, I read the sticker on the side that she neglected to remove.
State of California, prop 65: this product contains or may contain a chemical known to the state of california to cause cancer and birthdefects or other reproductive harm... oh any by the way, user, this product is excellent for getting rid of unwanted lovers without causing a scene. She gets a present and you get your freedom back.
Maybe she should have given it to me full of coffee and draino. Maybe full of ice cream with shards of broken glass. Maybe she should have just thrown it at my skull really hard. Either way, I found the sticker and will not drink from the cup. Better luck next time, baby. I'm watching you.