I'm going M.I.A.

I realize it's been awhile since I've posted. Nothing personal, I just can't get my thoughts together enough to say anything substantial. Blog readers around the world just looked at their computer screen crookedly and asked themselves "When does she ever write anything substantial?" My problem is this, a lot of things are happening- good and bad- and I have a difficult time deciding what's going to make a point on my website. Since I don't write for weeks at a time, the things keep backing up until I just say to hell with it and do something else. I'm a great writer.

Things have been weird. A few of my friends have been M.I.A this summer and it's hard for me to just let that go. Even when they are being complete and total bitches and treating me like I don't matter, I don't want our relationships to dissolve. I've been feeling this way all summer, but especially in the past few days because the season is winding down and people are going to school. I feel like a horrible person because sometimes it's easier for me to distance myself from people while they'e still here than to wait for them to be gone. I'm trying to convince myself that when certain people leave again, I'll feel better, I'll be less confused, less tormented... but then I remember that these people aren't doing anything to me. I do it to me. I set myself up for heartbreak and frustration in so many ridiculous ways. I don't know why I do it. Somedays I feel like I don't know enough about me to take care of myself. It makes me want to hide even more. I have a pretty good notion that by the time I'm 30 I'll be a complete hermit. Then I'll be the one M.I.A. So, 9 years and counting to do something to change the world. Wish me luck.