It's not you, it's both of us.

I am so frustrated. I can't make any of my friendships right lately. I have on friend who will spend no time with me, and another who will only spend time with me when it suits their inclinations and their mood.
One of my friends ditched me on my birthday (not for the first time) because she 'has no money'. She then posts myspace messages about all the fun, expensive things she did with her friends the weekend of my birthday and the next weekend. Some pretty harsh words were exchanged. We've never really fought before. I want to call her and apologize- just so things won't be tense between us- but I'm not sorry. Everything I said was true. I'm worried that she's enjoying our argument- she doesn't have to see me or feel bad about not seeing me. Double prize. I don't like feeling like an obligation. I'm afraid that if I call and fix this but it still continues to happen, we won't be able to be friends anymore. I'm not really sure what to do. I'm trying not to let myself get walked all over, but it really hurts either way.
I made a complete ass of myself this weekend. Someone else I'm very close to pissed me off and I let me PMS and the vodka I was drinking take hold of that emotion and turn me into a monster. My initial feelings were completely valid. I need to talk things out, but I can't. I can listen to everyone else, I can be their shoulder to cry on- but the favor can't be returned. I don't know who's to blame for this. Are the people I'm closest to really as hard headed and unapproachable as I believe them to be? Or do I psych myself out before even opening my mouth, anticipating the attitude I think I'll get and come off defensive and catty? I guess it's fully possible that all of my friends are completely open, honest, and willing to listen to my every heart's desire and pain, but then it also has to be possible that I'm a spoiled, selfish child. Somehow I think we're landing somewhere in the middle. Anyway, the moral is: I have no friends that I'm not fighting with lately and I'm starting to get depressed about it. That's the trouble with standing up for yourself- you find that people don't really care enough. It's all good when you're a doormat, but when you stand up they'd rather walk the other way.