blahdays and birthdays

Soooo.... right. I'm feeling a little down today. (It's Grace's birthday- yay!)

I haven't felt well for the past few days. A few things in my personal life are making me very worried about being left behind. It's a weird concept, right? the idea of being left behind. Because in reality, you can't be left behind because your life is yours. So I guess that I'm worried that the people I have chosen to surround myself with are growing up faster than me, and moving on. I'm worried that my completely fucked-up family life is holding me back, but I guess that really the only thing that hold me back is me, right? Notice how I blog like I just want answers from the void.

Blah. I want nothing more than to move on and start my own life. So my question is this- when is it okay to break ties and leave a place where you might be needed for the sake of your own mental health and life? When is it okay to say "Okay, now is for me and it's long overdue."?
When am I going to take ownership of what I want for myself?