Freaks me out

No idea where this came from, or why.... but it's freaky.

AAAHHHHHH

Home for the rest of the week. Waiting for my Short Term Disablitity packet. When did I grow up? Jesus...

Can't get in touch with my Doctor. Getting a little depressed. Or a lot depressed. If he would just call me back I'd feel a lot better... but I fear that 3 unanswered phone calls in a day is too many.

Sickblog 2.0

So I was supposed to be able to go back to work tomorrow. However, my wonderful Doctor told me I can't. My blood work came back showing a huge infection and he thinks I need at least another day of rest. I said "Can I go back Thursday?" and he paused and hesitantly said "...maybe Thursday. Stay home and rest." I'M GOING CRAZY. Sorry to everyone I've been driving crazy.okay, a day and a half more of rest. Then I'll check in.

In unrelated news, Ginger just broke into the pantry and stole a new toy for herself. Guess I'm not entertaining enough.

Sickblog 1.0

I've been home sick since Thursday at 1pm. I cannot go back to work until Wednesday, at the earliest, per my Doctor. Ginger is loving this situation, and it's causing her to be even more possessive that usual. ( See picture above.) Since I've been at home for almost a week, I have nothing interesting to write about except all things sick, so let's start there. Last Wednesday afternoon I was making dinner and preparing to go have a few beers with Miss Stephanie when, all of a sudden, I got so dizzy that I had to grab onto the kitchen counter not to fall over. It was really weird, like my whole world slanted for a second. After that I didn't feel right. So I canceled with Stephanie, figuring that if I got a good night's sleep I would be fine in the morning. So I finished dinner and went upstairs... and fell asleep around 7. I woke up Thursday morning with the most sore throat I've ever had. From the top of my ears to my chest hurt. But that was all that hurt, so I went to work. However, around 11am I started to feel really sick. Dizzy, sweaty, couldn't stop coughing. So I thought, hey, if I go home now and sleep through tomorrow I'll be 100% by Saturday. Again, wrong. I was so sick on Friday that I barely wanted to move and one Saturday when I finally made it to the doctor I was so feverish and dizzy and in pain that I couldn't stand on the scale to be weighed. My whole body hurt, literally to the point where if anything that was hotter or colder than my skin touched me, it felt like needles. I cried all the way there, through the whole visit and most of the way home. My Doctor isn't sure exactly what's wrong with me. He said maybe bronchitis (which I've had several times, and never like this) and maybe an Upper respirator infection (which I've also had several times and never like this). All he could say for sure is that I don't have pneumonia, and that he wanted to draw blood to check some things. He didn't say what things. I'm hoping it's just an exceptionally bad case of bronchitis. In any case, he prescribed a really strong antibiotic and Robitussein DM, (I can't have what he wanted to prescribe because it has codeine in it, and that would make me even sicker, learned that one that hard way at FSU.) Bottom line, I felt about 50% better after one dose of antibiotics. Thank God for modern medicine. Now I just have a bad cough and a stuffy nose and a little bit of dizziness. And 2 more days of bed rest.

2 more things, my wonderful girlfriend bought me a fuzzy poster to color and DVDs of Highschool musical and Fraggle Rock. She also brought me about 15 DVDs from her collection because she loves me and knows how hard it is for me to sit still for so long.

Also, just found out that one of her pets is really sick. :( Which is horrible, and super upsetting. So send your thoughts and well wishes her way. I love you baby. :(

Anyway, Wish me luck. Drop me some love. Sorry this blog is so self-involved and boring, but this is my whole experience for the past week. Now I need to get off here, because somehow I don't think bloggin is the same as bed rest.

FuckFuckFuck

My fucking school cancelled one of my fucking classes. I'm never going to fucking graduate and will reamain a loser for the rest of my existence. Fuck.

Wow. What is it about wednesdays?

I can't believe Heath Ledger is dead. Wow. It's incredible. When I first heard it made me really sad. He has a baby. I really hope this wasn't suicide, but I guess time will tell. This morning on a radio station around here they had a caller who was part of a 'death pool', where you try to pick out who will die by the end of the year and if you're right you get a sum of money. The first person they mentioned was Jack Black, sighting that he's overweight and does drugs and that his death would fit the trend.... okay, fine. Bad timing because of Heath Ledgers death, but fine. However... then he goes on to say that he REALLY has his money on Britney's kids dying in 2008. I mean, come one, she's crazy and they live right by a body of water. Screeching halt. Not funny. Not in good taste. So we flipped the station and found a DJ out of DC interviewing a car salesman who had been fired because he wouldn't sell these 'luxury sports cars' to disabled people. Because it ruins the integrity of the brand. Because handicapped people aren't good enough to spend 100,000 on a car. He was such an incredible jackass, I can't even tell you. He really only liked selling the cars to attractive women or to young men, because they made the car look good. What a twisted sense of reality. What a horrible person. The best part is that he is suing his former employer for wrongful termination.
It makes me wonder, who are these people? Is this really what our country is like? Are we really the blood-sucking, making money off of babies deaths, hating everyone who's not like us monsters that most of the world already thinks we are?
oh wow... and I just stumbled on this,
http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-23-hate-church-to-picket-ledgers-funeral
.... so make that bloodsucking, money making off of babies deaths, hating everyone who's not like us, protesting at goddamn funerals monsters that we already are. No question mark.
Fred Phelps can go to Hell... and eventually I really believe that he will.
Also, shame on the 2 men I heard on the radio today.
What a fucking blah morning.
This country just seems to suck lately.

This is so exciting to me!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18043833/

Guess I don't have to feel bad anymore! :)

Also, did you hear that "conservative black leaders" endorse Huckabee. Not too sure how that's a possible, since I'm sure Huckabee is all for slavery. What-the-fuck-ever.
Anyway, coffee-good, Huckabee- fucker.

Have a great day!

Peace is wise. My T-shirt choice, apparently, is not.

Apparently, my shirt is political propaganda. I've been asked to wear a sweatshirt over it at work. My Manager says it's because we're only supposed to wear company T-shirts, however it appears to be fine for people to walk around with "Juicy" written across their chest. My T-shirt, pictured below, is too abrasive and outspoken for my workplace, and I can definitely see how people would be super offended by a pink owl and a quick saying on kindness. I find MOST of the shirts in Sarah Jessica Parker's line terribly offensive, except not. As a matter of fact, I wore one last week that said "PEACE" across the front and no one asked me to put a shirt over it. Maybe now I'm insinuating that war is not wise? And people are offended? Well, whether or not my shirt says it- war is not wise. There. (Republicans, generally, are not wise either, but that's a whole other topic...) The conversation in which I was asked to wear a sweatshirt began like this Him: "Oh, wow! I like your shirt! I like the color and the message..." Me: "Thanks! It's my new favorite. " Him: (as a cloud of confusion and stress passes his face) "But... you might want to throw on a sweatshirt when you're not at your desk..." As John suggested, "Start a Riot! Protest!" , but I fear it would do no good. They would just say that it has nothing to do with the message, only with the fact that it isn't a company shirt. Nice. Well, I guess it's my fault for lowering myself to wearing my beliefs on a T-shirt anyway. Lowest common denominator, anyone? But you can bet that the next time someone comes to work wearing a Jesus Loves You T-shirt, they won't have a word said to them. Because believing in Jesus is a personal choice, believing in peace is a personal choice to be a trouble making hippy. How is that fair?


The offending clothing:

I want to be adored.

That's pretty much it. I can't explain it any better.

Various Images of 'God'. See post Below.

Oh my god. I wish he was God.
No myspace for his holiest.
Eye see you.

This looks exactly like the angel we used to put on my CHristmas Tree.
I just like this one. Crazy Feminists.

Someone Convince Me, Please.

Do people believe in religion simply to have a firm knowledge of where spirits go after death? I mean, really, is every Christian/Catholic/whatever, just in it for the comfort of knowing where they and all other good Christian/Catholics/Whatever will remain for eternity. Is that why people are so obsessed with 'saving' each other?

Sometimes I think that if I believed in "God", as it were, I'd be more comfortable with people and animals leaving the planet. There wouldn't be such a desperate rush to know everything and say everything before someone dies, because I would be confident that "one day I'd see them again". I don't know. I wish I believed sometimes. I wish I had it in me. But, I feel like that kind of belief is a lie you tell to yourself to soften blows that maybe shouldn't be softened. . It's interesting to me, because I wonder if I'm wasting my time. I wonder if, when it's time for someone close to me to die, I'll regret spending so much time at work and school. I need a direct visit from God and I need him to say "You like girls. Duh. I made you that way. You have a hard time with faith, duh, I made you that way. Just like everyone else I made, you'll be taken care of when you die." However, I fear that that isn't how it works... and that God is not the loving, caring, non-judgemental entity I want him to be. And this sets me back about 20 paces. I want to believe in something, but everything is a complete contradiction to my very being. Where's the balance?

Man with no legs too good for Olympics

I don't know enough about Track and Field to have much of an opinion on this, but how interesting...


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22646083/

More Evidence!

Is that Britney spears, also? Wow. I can't believe this. Paris still looks like a bird, and not a cute one. And I absolutely hate several things about this situation:

#1: The papers are saying Paris was wearing a 'masculine outfit', so she must be gay. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure I see lipstick, pink and rhinestones on her. And she may still be gay... but I don't really want her. People are just going to use it as another reason she's difunctional. "She drives drunk, she does drugs, she can't form a sentence, but worst of all- she's sleeping with women! That's the last straw, she can't possibly be a role model!"

#2: Kate Moennig is wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt. Wow. not looking very Shane today.

#3: Does anyone think that Britney-lookalike is dating Daniella? Let's start that rumor. Why is it automatically my Kate who's entangled with hollywood's finest/trashiest/most hungry for attention?

#4: Who's hands are those on her suspenders?

#5: I'm sad.

I'll kill a bitch

I'm offended that they said "Who's Kate Moennig?" ONLY MY DREAM GIRL, that's who. ( by the way, girlfriend, love you baby. :)
I'll kill Paris. Like a true stalker.

http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2008/01/paris-hilton-going-gay-with-katherine-moennig/

Toyota gets 2 rainbow thumbs up!

http://www.hrc.org/issues/best_places_to_work_2008.asp#Automotive



So, not only is my job on the list. (look under Automotive), but it also appears that we have a glbt alliance! I sent a message to the e-mail addy just because I was so exicted that it exists! They have not, however, written back to me. :(



:)We still have a ton of room for improvement, but right now, I'm really proud to work where I work. Just a side note. :)

You're gay? Do tell...

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/gays-come-out-but-stay-in-military/20080108095109990002?ncid=NWS00010000000001



Yay for the story, but thumbs down to the stupid people who comment on it.
Now! Let's change those laws! :)

Homophobia is so lame.
Acceptance is the new black.

More disclaimers...

Although you'd never guess, because no one leaves comments, there is some confusion about the last blog I posted. This does not apply to my relationship. This does not apply to me. This was not some backwards way of asking my girlfriend to let me sleep with men on the side. It was also not to make anyone feel bad, it's just my point of view on the subject. :)

Enjoy!

Bisexual Girlfriend

According to Dan Savage; most bisexuals are incapable of falling in love with their same sex. They are only capable from deriving sexual pleasure from them.

Now, forgive my gross generalizations, but without them this is too complicated.

In a million years you will never find a Lesbian that will let her Bisexual girlfriend sleep with guys, but you will find plenty of guys who will let their bisexual girlfriends sleep with Lesbians.
Why?
To Lesbians, Guys are a threat and fully unattractive; but to Guys Lesbians are hot. No wonder it appears that the bisexual girlfriends will ALWAYS end up with a Guy. If they don't sleep with Guys because their partners won't let them, they're just Lesbians to the world. But if they're Bisexual with a Guy, then they're automatically 'ending up' with a Guy- whether or not they still sleep with women. They 'end up' with a guy because maybe that guy is a little more accepting of who they are? and maybe the bisexuals who end up with women (therefore making them just lesbians) hide that part of themselves so that they don't lose the person they love, who doesn't accept them for who they are. It's a matter of acceptance and self-control- and maybe that's why is seems like a sex thing, but it isn't.

Maybe the problem is in the system and not in the bisexual girlfriend to begin with?

Just a thought... maybe we should stop picking on the bisexuals?

******disclaimers: I'm fully aware that there are plenty of GGG Lesbians out there who will allow their girlfriends to sleep with whoever they want and plenty of men who do not want their girlfriends messing around with other women. I'm also aware that this isn't even an issue for some couples because not every bisexual has to be sleeping with someone of the sex opposite to their partner all the time. Also, I love Dan Savage and I respect his opinions even though I don't always agree with them.*****

A letter to you.

I do not feel the same way about you that she does. I do not care about your bad childhood, your disastrous relationships, your medications, your shrinks, your money problems or your aggression. I only care about how those things impact her. I have no love for you. No softness, no emotions. This says a lot, because I have emotion for everyone. My well of giving goes deep, but you've crossed the line. She keeps going back to you. She thinks the two of you are supposed to be together. She thinks she should be taking care of you. You are a disease. You're toxic. You're not worth her time. I cannot and will not sit by and watch you dry her up. I can't be a quiet member in the crowd while you take everything she has to give. For now, I hope that she'll come to her senses. I pray that she'll realize she's better off without you. What I want more than anything right now is to not see you again, and to have her forget you existed. I can't say this to you because I promised to butt out and let her, as an adult, make her own decisions- but know this: She's making the wrong one. You might be able to trick her into doing what you want for now. You might be able to convince her you've changes when everyone else knows you haven't. You might have the ability to brainwash her and make her turn against the people who love her the most and have supported her. You made her choose you over everyone else, and that hurts. We're all hurt by that. But it's nothing compared to the hurt you will feel if you put one fucking toe out of line again. I swear on my life that I will beat the shit out of you if I ever get the opportunity. The fact that you told her that you wish she would go to hell and die; You threatened to call the police on my family. You blackmailed them for property that didn't belong to you. You told my sister that the reason my Father left was her. You literally broke into our house. You stalked her. You came where you weren't wanted. You called her so many times that she had to change her fucking phone number. You manipulated someone else into taking her to see you when you KNEW she didn't want to see you. You blew it. You're a selfish, ridiculous, problematic, manipulative bitch. It's all unforgivable. I will not apologize for what I'm saying. I have to say it somewhere, and this is it. This is how angry I am. This is how much I hate you and wish you would vanish. This is my letter to you.
I mean every word of it.

I don't heart huckabee

Okay, fuck him. Can someone please give him AIDS? I don't care if it was said 15 years ago or 15 minutes ago- ostracizing people is NEVER okay. Even if they are scary, germ carrying gays. Again, Fuck you, Huckabee. You're an asshole.

http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-huckabee12dec12,0,5514341.story?coll=la-home-center

Okkkayyyyy, so gay people cause and carry aids. Let's pretend this is a fact. Great. Now let's say that locking up people with AIDS, or who have the potential to carry and pass AIDS is a good idea. Let's take this theory and run with it. Gay men and straight people are more likely to get and pass on AIDS than Lesbians. (proven by mucus membranes, fluid exchange and all the good stuff.) So, essentially we'll have to lock everyone up. Do you think there will be a sliding scale for the level of security based on how likely you are to contract and pass on AIDS? If there is, Lesbians would be the least 'threatening'... so, oh my god. Maybe this isn't a matter of public health at all, but a matter of yet ANOTHER person publicly displaying their hatred, bigotry and homophobia for all the world to see- AND BEING ACCEPTED FOR IT. As a country that was founded on freedom, we should all rise up together and beat the living shit out of this man. I really believe that.

Thanks for the tip, John.You know I had to put in my 2 cents.

Oh, and PS, we'll probably see Huckabee tapping his foot in a stall sometime soon. Repressed closet cases love to eat their own... and by 'eat' I mean throw them all onto a desert island under the pretense of health and safety. One more time- fuck you Huckabee.

Center

I'm not meddling. I'm not getting into any of it. It's not my business. If people want to talk to me about their problems, they will. C'est La Vie.

(I'm trying.)

Pressure for Props

Sometimes we need to put ourselves out there for critique and hope the reviews come back positive. Why is it so scary? Why can't we put outselves out there and ignore the bad press?
It seems like people with only a certin sense of naievete can pull this feat off. Maybe because they aren't looking for praise, they're only being themselves, which happens to require putting themselves in the spotlight occassionally. Maybe we should all try to look around and say something nice about our friends, give them credit where credit is due, so that one day soon we don't put them in the uncomfortable postion of seeking out praise, or, even worse, being earnest about something they are excited about and getting shot down in return. I mean it, right now, call, e-mail, text, IM, turn to someone you love and give them props. Maybe we'd all feel a little better.

Happy New Year

It's New Years Day. I go back to work tomorrow. For the entire month of December I only worked 9 days. Between internships, holidays, seeing family and doctors appointments, this month has been absolutely insane. Now, I'm getting myself ready to go back to work tomorrow.... and I feel strange. Anxious, nervous, sad, unable to relax. I hate this feeling. I used to get this way a a lot. I've never known why it happens. And I still don't know why... I just know it feels terrible. Happy 2008.